267: Why We Suck at Being Social

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In a world that seems more connected than ever, why do we often find ourselves struggling to be social? Today I tackle this question head-on, diving into the complexities of human relationships, the ironic blessing/curse of social media, and how it all brings about our modern-day aversion to (or impatience with) real life social interaction.

I know, I know. It’s right on the tip of your tongue. You want to say, “The world out there is a horrible place. People are terrible and everyone sucks.”

Listen, I won’t shy away from the darker side of human interactions. I acknowledge that sometimes people—and that includes YOU AND ME—can indeed suck. Having said that, I think most people are decent human beings most of the time. I think negative stories just tend to get amplified—thank you social media and 24 hour a day news—which skews our perception of humanity.

Is our avoidance of difficult people actually hindering our social development? Are we using labels like ‘introvert’ as a shield to avoid the messy, yet essential, process of engaging with others? Are we curating our social circles too narrowly, losing the ability to cope with diversity and disagreement?

Social media absolutely connects us in unprecedented ways, but it’s oddly enough also given us the luxury of avoiding the very interactions that make us human. And because we’re so often able to avoid difficult interactions, we really suck at it when we have to be a part of them.

And so it’s just easier to hop online… and mindlessly scrollllllllllll.

Today let’s confront the uncomfortable truths about our social lives. I invite you to step out of your curated bubbles and relearn the art of being social. Embrace the “beautiful mess” of human relationships. It’s what people were forced to do before social media existed.

Lifestead update: (2:20)

Main topic: (5:13)

Link mentioned in episode:

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast, 1-10-24 episode: Why Everyone’s Social Skills Are Getting Worse (discussion with David Brooks)

— Amy Dingmann, 2-19-24