239: Today is your BIRTH day

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Yesterday I turned 44 and I realized there has been this feeling in the back of my head that’s keeping me stuck.

We put a lot of stress on entering a new phase of life—whether that’s an age or a big event—and sometimes that gets us stuck. I think when we come to big changes in our life (graduated, raised your kids, moved across the country, retired from a long term job) we’re at a crossroads. What’s the next thing?

The problem is the older we get, the less we push for that next thing because we feel silly for thinking it’s worth our time. We relinquish some kind of energy or control to the fact that “I’m already (insert age or whatever thing is holding you back) so meh, I’ll just coast where I am.”

So, I’ll be honest. Sometimes in trying to figure out all the places I want to go from here, I feel like, “I can’t do that. Dude, I’m 44.”

But here’s this crazy thought that entered my head in between birthday tacos and dessert: What if I was just born today?

What do you mean by that, Amy?

What I mean is this. What if you doubled your age at this point in your life (and you could realistically be alive at that point) … and considered that today you’re just a baby?

And you’ve got the same amount of time as you’ve been alive already—all those years!—to still be alive?

Sit with that for a minute. Sit with that perspective.

You’ve been alive all. these. years. But what if that’s just the beginning? What if the amount of time you’ve been alive already is “nothing” and you’re just getting started?

I’m now 44. If I double my age, I’m 88. Now, will I be kicking as hard at 88 as I am now? Probably not. But my 83 year old Grandma gets around just fine and is still feisty as hell so why should I be thinking ugh, I’m 44. I’ll just coast?

Now I understand that if you’re listening to this and you’re 60, you won’t “still be kickin’” at double your age. And I know that if you’re 20 and listening to this, you might not make it to 40 because shit happens. But the point is “why, at any point in our life, are we just deciding meh, it’s not worth starting anything OR where I am right now is my lot in life.”

Your life starts today

What if I live until I’m 88? Then today it’s really like I’m just being born. Isn’t that a crazy perspective? What if today was your birthday, as in it is the day you are born. What if today you are just a wee little baby, with a whole world of opportunity before you?

Now obviously you’re not really a baby. You can walk and talk. You probably have a mortgage and a job. You have responsibilities. Commitments. Habits. Issues.

But what if you approached today as your BIRTH day?

I get it, this day is the first day of the rest of your life is like a motivational poster that hangs in a classroom or at the gym or in the dentist’s office.

But let me ask you a serious question. What do you want to do? What do you want to do with your life that you haven’t already done? What do you want to do with your time?

Things are changing

You’re going to start to see A Farmish Kind of Life go hard on motivation, encouragement, deep thoughts, and hard questions.

I’m so excited for all the stuff we’re doing on the farm this year but as we dig into the projects, I will be honest, things are different. We’re doing lots of non-farm stuff, too, and there needs to be room for that. Hardcore homesteading requires a schedule of sorts. I feel like we’re entering a space where I’m looking at homesteading differently.

A lot of people getting into the homesteading game are very excited and doing all the things (much like we were when we moved here 12 years ago). When I look at “teaching people how to homestead” it leaves a different taste in my mouth than it did before. At our farm, I know what animals and other stuff works for us, we’ve got a system and it’s not “a thing” anymore. It’s just our thing.

This is normal as people morph and life moves forward.

I’m here to motivate you

I’m starting to think that what I’m really here for is motivation, ass kicking, deep thoughts with the back drop of homesteading. I have had many people tell me “I don’t listen to you for homesteading how-to or advice, I can get that anywhere. I listen to you because you make me think.”

The podcast has really morphed away from “homesteading only”, so listeners might wonder where this all came from, but every other thing I do with A Farmish Kind of Life has had me thinking “it has to relate to homesteading some how!”

But I realized something a few nights ago after an ugly cry to my husband: this belief that everything has to relate to homesteading, or somehow teach something about homesteading, has been holding me back.

It’s absolutely been a roadblock and a source of stress.

And that’s a problem.

Am I homesteader? Yes. Will I talk about homesteading sometimes? Yes. But as human beings we morph, and all the things we do become part of our experience. I’ve been on big stages performing for lots of people. I’ve been a very pregnant 24 year old. I’ve been the mom of a 8 and 9 year old. I’ve been a lot of various things in life—so have you!—and I will continue to be many things if I don’t get stuck in the list of things I currently am or currently do.