What I Worry About (itty bitty thoughts)

What I Worry About (itty bitty thoughts)

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I’m not against “rules” per se.

I just think most “rules” for how people should behave

shouldn’t need to be explained.

You don’t fill a car with kids and then drive around drunk.

You don’t stab your neighbor because they didn’t mow their grass.

You don’t take stuff that doesn’t belong to you. 


But lately, the rules don’t make sense.


People get angry when they don’t like the rules.

But I’ve seen what makes them angrier:

when rules seem random.

Or only apply to half.

Or change on a dime.


Yesterday, a bunch of stuff

was closed down in our state again

for another 4 weeks.

And I get it.

I understand shutdowns if they work.

I don’t understand shutdowns

that are pick-and-choose,


random 30 people gathering here is okay

but 6 people gathering here isn’t.

I don’t understand how I can walk through this door to this business

but the door at this other business is locked.


But that’s not what I worry about.


I understand quarantining people who are sick.

I don’t understand the nowhere-near-across-the-board determination

of who is allowed to go back to work if they’ve been “exposed”.

I have family members and friends who work in grocery stores.

Law enforcement.



And stuff just doesn’t make sense when stories are compared.

If the disease is horrible,

it’s horrible to everyone,


all the time.

It doesn’t get less horrible

because you’re short staffed.

It doesn’t get less horrible because you were

in a crowd of angry people.

It doesn’t get less horrible

because you were only with someone

for 12 minutes,

not 15.


But that’s not what I worry about.


I stay busy

while I grind my teeth

and bake another pie.

They say this new version of lockdown

will be lifted by Christmas.

I don’t believe that.

Not even for a half second.


But that’s not what I worry about.


The real problem in

all of this mess is that

there is so much stuff

that falls between the cracks.



Real live human beings

who fall between the cracks.

And for as many people who have vowed

to stay healthy in the midst of this

eat well


stay positive

there are just as many


who have said


will say

Eff it.


And that’s what I worry about most.


— Amy Dingmann 11/19/20

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In the unrelenting reality of lockdowns and changing rules, here's what I worry about most.

7 thoughts on “What I Worry About (itty bitty thoughts)”

  • So much of it makes no sense at all. But then, if you believe common sense has been relegated to the no longer applicable past along with critical thinking and self-responsibility, you can understand why we are in the mess we are today.

  • I think this year has really uncovered a lot about systems. About how systems fail us, about how systems breakdown, about how they are perceived or viewed with suspicion.

    Its uncovered a lot about people too and who we are when things happen.

  • Amy, I’m missing your podcasts! I soooo enjoy listening to them. I totally understand if you need to take a break from it all though. I just want you to know you are amazing and inspiring! Now just to double check…..you last episode was in September, right? I’m not accidentally missing something!?

  • I have been worried since March. Not about dying but about all the unintended consequences of all the rules that make no sense to me…especially for the little ones who are being conditioned to be afraid of hugging or seeing a face. This is not normal nor is it a new normal. It is abnormal. This is what I worry about.

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