one year later (itty bitty thoughts)
A Farmish Kind of Life is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. You can view our full affiliate disclosure here.
If there is anything I’ve learned in the last year,
it’s that we’re all just punting though.
And those two lines above are dangerous.
Because someone will take it and make it political.
But this isn’t about politics, this is about people.
This isn’t what’s on your tv or the website or the social media you’re doom scrolling.
This is about you locked in the bathroom, staring in the mirror.
This is you alone in bed, staring at the ceiling.
This is you, sitting at the dinner table, staring at the people you live with
Not knowing what to say about anything anymore because you don’t have the answers.
You thought you did
A year ago.
But you didn’t and you don’t.
Out there, it’s easier to talk about facts and figures and curves and statistics.
It’s easy to talk about whatever makes a headline.
But this is about you, alone with yourself, after the lights go out, and you stare into nothing.
And you don’t know what’s next.
Out there, it’s easier to talk about small things
Spring is coming
It’s wet it’s cold it’s sunny there is mud
But this is about you, alone in the quiet.
We joke that we’re tired of being part of a historical event.
Which makes me wonder about the past million historical events
And the things that weren’t reported past the facts and figures and curves and statistics.
Past the headlines and deep into people.
What really happened in people’s homes? In their lives?
In their souls when they were alone?
What happens when angry is replaced with tired?
This is what happens.
If there is anything I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that
we don’t know how to parent through a pandemic
and we don’t know how to love through a pandemic
and we don’t know how to be a human through a pandemic.
And everyone is looking for someone else to show us the way.
But no one knows how to get there.
Or where we’re supposed to be headed.
What the hell even is that?
Some people can’t wait to be out and about with others again,
And other people aren’t sure they will remember how.
(that’s not a joke)
(why do people think it’s a joke?)
This is what it’s like past the headlines.
This is what it’s like when you dig past politics into people.
This is what it’s like when you’re alone with yourself.
The actual pandemic?
It’s playing out in our heads.
— Amy Dingmann, 3-7-21