137: Supporting you… or your cause?
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When I look at current events and see various groups of people open their eyes to different things, I’m reminded of a tough situation we can sometimes find ourselves in. And oftentimes we don’t realize we’re in that situation until it’s “too late”.
It brings up a tough question. When you have someone in your life who seems like they are supporting, encouraging, and helping you, it’s sometimes worth asking yourself whether they are supporting you or just supporting the cause you’re involved in.
Are they supporting you… or the project you’re in?
Are they supporting you… or the cause they think you’re fighting for?
Are they supporting you… or the direction they think you’re going?
Sometimes supporting you is the same as supporting your cause. But sometimes, unfortunately, the support of you is merely “convenient”.
I had someone in my life who was very supportive of me when they thought I was headed one way. But after I (gasp) had kids and decided to (gasp) stay home to raise them, our relationship totally changed. This person sat me down for coffee one day and point blank asked me what my life plan was and was I really just gonna be a housewife and spit out kids left and right?
(Which actually made me laugh out loud at them, because, y’all—I only had two kids.)
Some people will enter your life and support you because they want to live vicariously through you. Other times people “support you” because you are “more people for the cause”. Meaning, it’s really not about you, it’s about the cause.
Sometimes you become the project because they want you for something. They’re supporting you because they need you for something.
It’s that person who really thought you were going to join their church because they were spending so much time with you.
It’s that person who really was just interested in you promoting their product, they really don’t give a crap about your homestead.
It’s that person who was supporting you because of what it was going to do for them.
I don’t want to be someone else’s project.
If I’m going to be a project, that project should belong to me.
And I bring this up because I want people to be careful. As we look at causes that come up, divisions that start to happen, wedges that drive themselves between people, and forks that show up in the road you’re on, keep your eyes open. You need to determine which people are really there to support you and help you grow and have your best interests in mind, and which people are just collecting arms and legs for their cause.
— Amy Dingmann, 4-21-19
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