in-between (itty bitty thoughts)
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There shouldn’t be snow on my pumpkins yet, but there is.
Yesterday I took a picture of my pumpkins on the front step
and saw the Buddha statue my grandma gave me.
Buddha is smiling next to the pumpkins covered with snow.
Which is totally a Buddha thing to do.
It’s early for snow.
It’s early for temps this cold.
Hello, 2020.
Social media (no matter which platform you choose) feels like
a highway of billboards screaming people’s opinions and beliefs and
my god it does. not. matter. what side you’re on—
screaming your opinions
is still screaming.
And in person,
the mood in the grocery store
the post office
the bookstore
is quieter
but no one is smiling.
(Or are they?
I can’t tell with all these masks.)
But a feeling is thick in the air.
People are angry and tired
and frustrated and exhausted in a
god, will we ever bounce back
kind of way.
And I don’t want to live in that.
But I also can’t live in a
magical sing-songy world of
unicorns, puppy dogs, daisies
freaking cotton candy and lollipops
everything is great!
everything is fine!
its fine, really.
it’s fine.
So what’s the in-between?
Back inside the house my oldest says,
“if it’s gonna start looking like Christmas outside, I’m making egg nog.”
So he does.
I throw stuff in the slow cooker for supper.
I plunge my hands into the dishwater because it’s warm.
I find a recipe for pound cake.
I listen to the playlist I’ve named “Smile”,
because you can’t be sad when you listen to
or Get Rhythm.
You just can’t, you guys.
My oldest asks for help with a poetry assignment.
The youngest plays guitar.
My husband comes home from work
(outside in the surprise snow all day)
and we stand in the kitchen talking
as I stir supper.
“Your cheeks are red,” I say.
“I’m starting to warm up so I’m getting cold,” he says.
And we both laugh because
getting colder as you warm up sounds absurd
but we know it’s a thing
when you’ve been out in the wet snow all day.
I see his shoes on the boot dryer,
dripping wet.
And it occurs to me
that maybe this is the in-between.
This daily life.
And I wonder
if we all made egg nog
and did the dishes
and listened to old music
and fed the stray cats
and read poetry with our kids
and listened to them play guitar
and held our spouses
and crawled into warm beds
after eating pound cake that was a little dry
would that make any difference
to the bigger picture?
Does the bigger picture even matter?
Or is life really just about
what happens in these four walls?
There’s more snow predicted today.
Eventually there will be enough snow
to completely hide the pumpkins and Buddha.
And I know Buddha will still be
smiling underneath the snow.
Smiling underneath because
I think he’s got something figured out
that most the rest of us just haven’t yet:
that no matter what happens,
you’re still in the midst of what happens.
And the
in-between
of your
daily
real
concrete
touchable
squeezable
kissable
casual and miniscule
snow-covered-pumpkin life
is where all the answers are.
– Amy Dingmann, 10-20-20
Bookmark ITTY BITTY THOUGHTS and come back to check out what I post tomorrow! I’d love your thoughts on today’s post in a comment below or via email at [email protected].
Have you ever thought about making a book of your tiny thoughts. They are so fun to read.
Aw. That’s a nice thought. Occasionally I work on a book called Simple Gifts which is bigger thoughts of mine…but who knows. Maybe it will all just morph into a little collection of lots of different thoughts. 🙂 Glad you’re enjoying the posts.
Thanks Amy. You are spot on again. Was beginning to feel very BLEGHHH today. Tomorrow my youngest turns 17. We are allowed 3 strangers (well not real strangers ofcourse). It is feels so odd you have to deceide who is invited and who is not. But we will manage. . Not all is lost in this world when an almost 17 year old (big lil Peep fan) wants a lady bug cake for his birthday. Is it?
I think a lady bug cake sounds great. I feel like I owe my kids re-dos on their birthday. They both “celebrated” (if you can call it that) right when things were first locked down early this spring. Perhaps we can celebrate doubly next year? O_o
This struck a big cord with me this morning! Thank you for putting words to my thoughts. My circle of what is truly important on a day to day basis has been becoming smaller and smaller, and therefore so much more meaningful and treasured. Newly surrounded by those that only value the superficial, I find it heartening to know that there are kindred spirits out there.
Bigger isn’t always (ever?) better…unless we’re talking about a piece of pie. 🙂 Thanks for your kind words!
Amy, thank you for sharing these thoughts today. I’ve really been struggling with things recently (COVID restrictions and family drama), and this was just the poetry I needed to reset for my afternoon and pull me up out of myself.
I’m so glad you found it helpful. It was a nice reset for me to write them, too, so I believe that’s called a win-win. Thanks for taking the time to read my words. 🙂
Hi, Amy! Hubby and I just this very morning started to discuss the latest glum and dumb goings on in our society when we stopped and realized we can’t change any of it. All we can do is change (maybe “affect” is a better word) what we have going here in our own little oasis. If we make that the best we possibly can and actively appreciate it each and every day, maybe that’s the very best thing we can do. I think that goes right along with what you’ve said so well in this itty bitty daily thought.
Mama PEA! Is the THE Mama Pea from long ago blogging who lives north of me??? <3 So lovely to see your name come up. I've missed you. 🙂
Yep. I’ve been reading and catching up on you with this new format of yours. Thinking about all the conversations we had before you found your “little oasis.” It was well worth all the struggle, wasn’t it? Hugs.
We wade through the time we have to spend “out there” so we can retreat/return to our little slice of sanity on the farm.
I am always so happy to get back to the farm. 🙂